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A Farewell to Wednesday One-Liners [09 Dec 2009|03:00am]
overheardnyc

Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.

--Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France... even Pakistan!

--50th & 8th

Overheard by: camillia*

Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!

--St. Mark's

Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.

--Lord & Taylor, 39th St

Overheard by: mira

Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with... muskets and shit!

--6 Train


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-12-09
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Trainwreckalicious! [09 Dec 2009|03:48am]
perezhilton

Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta performed her infectiously catchy guilty pleasure of a song, Tardy For The Party, on Ellen and….

To her credit, at least she attempted to sing somewhat live!

But, she's really got to work on her "craft". Maybe one day she'll be as good as…. Heidi Montag.

Check it out (above)!

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Tweets I Have Known... [09 Dec 2009|03:01am]

badlydrawnjeff
  • 07:27 Election day! Scott Brown could use your vote! #
  • 16:34 Off to vote for Scott Brown in the Senate race - Massachusetts peeps: have you voted yet? #masen #scottbrown #
  • 17:54 Turnout must be pathetic - Millbury Precincts 1 and 2 had a *total* of 228 ballots cast. Very interesting... #masen #
  • 20:26 Lost Season 5 is on Netflix streaming now. Ann & I have already blocked out a portion of the weekend to finally catching up. #
  • 23:26 RT @PatrickRuffini: MA Dem primary turnout down 20% from 2002 when they lost the governors race #masen #
Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
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A Very Special Offer! [09 Dec 2009|05:01am]
perezhilton

apereztbs.jpg

Still haven't purchased our new book yet????

Well, for one last holiday push, if you visit this Penguin site from 12/9-12/31 and get 15% off on True Bloggywood Stories! Just use the code "Perez09" at checkout.

We have spent hours and hours over the last week signing books! In case you haven't heard….

Perez is going to autograph and personalize EVERY single copy of the book that is bought and sent to us.

CLICK HERE for all the details on the signing offer!

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Trainwreckalicious! [09 Dec 2009|03:48am]
perezhilton

Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta performed her infectiously catchy guilty pleasure of a song, Tardy For The Party, on Ellen and….

To her credit, at least she attempted to sing somewhat live!

But, she's really got to work on her "craft". Maybe one day she'll be as good as…. Heidi Montag.

Check it out (above)!

post comment

Hey, Boys and Girls, It's Wednesday One-Liner Time! [09 Dec 2009|12:00am]
overheardnyc

30-something blonde in office attire on cell: You need to tell Vanessa that she can't be on the show because she's not overweight enough, and s not unattractive enough.

--Whole Foods Market, Chelsea

Syracuse University girl, going up escalator: I feel like I'm in Star Trek! (begins humming Indiana Jones theme)

--Penn Station

Overheard by: Mickey

20-something gaysian: Yeah, he watches Hannah Montana so I don't get why he makes fun of me for watching iCarly!

--Washington Square Park

Teen: I watched I Love Lucy last night. She's funny; she's like the Jim Carrey of the 1920s or something.

--UA School of Music and Art

20-something preppy kid to mother: You know, they really should have a reality show about Midtown.

--54th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Pedro


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-12-09
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dry spells [08 Dec 2009|08:48pm]

sextips

[dolledupdolly]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | David Rush | Shooting Star (Party Rock Remix) ]

In the middle of eating dinner tonight, I realised I was eating because I was horny and couldn't have sex. Ahahaha. Then I thought about it some more, and realised that I've been oversleeping, eating more than usual, moping, and generally feeling yucky because I'm sexually frustrated. I haven't had sex in three months (it was the best. sex. EVER.) and I can usually deal with the frustration if I don't have sex for a while (there were two seperate years where I didn't have any kind of sexual intimacy with anyone - not even a kiss) but lately I've wanted to tear my bed sheets to smithereens.

How long can you go without sex for before you feel like shriveling up and dying?

What are your coping methods (aside from wanking) when you're single/away from your SO/you don't know how long it will be before you have sex again?

11 comments|post comment

[07 Dec 2009|09:50pm]

sextips

[memoirsofsunny]
Hi, so my boyfriend and I are running out of ideas for sexual play.

We've tried:

-anal
-rape fantasy
-him controlling me [slapping, spanking, dirty talk, etc]
-me being a stripper
-etc

We're really looking for a really new kink to try out. I think we're eventually going to try a threesome, and public sex. But we won't be trying anything in his back door. I looked in the mammaries [heh] but I didn't really see anything helpful.

Any ideas?
16 comments|post comment

TayTay's OMG Outtakes!!! [09 Dec 2009|01:45am]
perezhilton

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Taylor Lautner has been strutting his stuff on overtime to promote New Moon, but we can't get enough of him!

The hottie took some pretty pics for Men's Health that should never have been left behind. It's a travesty if these are not enjoyed by all!!

Enjoy his photoshoot outtakes in which the boy has all the right angles!!!

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The Gosselin Kids Miss The Cameras [09 Dec 2009|01:30am]
perezhilton

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With filming on Jon & Kate Plus 8 on hold for the past few weeks, it seems Kate Gosselin is doing whatever it takes to get the cameras back up and rolling.

And oddly enough, Kate was selected as one of Barbara Walters' The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 which airs tomorrow night.

During the interview Kate even claims the kiddies are missing all the money cameras being around.

Says Kate:

"They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' …Eight sobbing kids driving home from school."

Kate also opened up about Jon's "epiphany" to remove his kids from the spotlight. Instead, admitting she believes he did that only "because he could."

Kate adds, "Unless you live in my house and, and see how everything that we have done with the show has been such a great experience, you can't speak."

[Image via WENN.]

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Your Editors Assumed It Was a Marijuana Thing. [08 Dec 2009|09:00pm]
overheardnyc

Little kid: I'm the highest reader in my class!
Dad's friend: What, are all the kids in your class Chinese?

--The Great Lawn

Overheard by: Mariah


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-12-08
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Sign Of The Times [09 Dec 2009|01:15am]
perezhilton

photo.jpg

Hellooooo backlash!

The Tiger Woods doll - on clearance at Toys 'R' Us for just $9.98.

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Listen To This: Better Late Than Never! [09 Dec 2009|01:00am]
perezhilton

agnes_carlsson.jpg

Yes, we are tardy for this party, but we're here now and having a great time!

Agnes is the 2005 winner of Swedish Idol and she has recently been making waves in Europe and the gay club scene in America with her song Release Me, aka our new jam.

This song is pure pop perfection!!!!!!

LOVE. Love. LOVE.

Enjoy and listen below.

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Robert Downey Jr. = A Class Act [09 Dec 2009|12:45am]
perezhilton

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Though it was pouring in Southern California yesterday, Robert Downey Jr. showed off his generous side by being good to his fans.

Rob was honored yesterday with his hand and feet imprintment ceremony over at the Chinese Grauman's Theatre. Dozens of fans came out to support him and he returned the favor by signing autographs and posing for pictures.

Good man!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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More Dance Crew On MTV [09 Dec 2009|12:30am]
perezhilton

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MTV has renewed its hit reality dance show Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew for a fifth season!

The show will return on January 28 along with Taking the Stage which has been renewed for a second season. Tony DiSanto, MTV's president of programming says:

"While each series is a different format, both have music at their core. It is the mode of expression for these kids who are trying to live their dream."

Blah, blah, blah.

We've kinda had enough of these dance shows.

Will U be tuning in to the upcoming season?

[Image via AP Images.]

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Colin Firth: Gay Actors Are Restrained! [09 Dec 2009|12:15am]
perezhilton

colwenn5381780.jpg

Amen!

Slim and trimmed Colin Firth sat down to discuss his new flick, A Single Man, in which he plays 1960s homosexual college professor George Falconer, and began to talk about the role of gay and straight actors in Hollywood.

We think he hit the nail right on the head!

Colin commented:

"If you're a straight actor who takes on the role of a gay man, it's obviously not the same as being one in this business. I think there are still some constraints against being openly gay. It is to do with whatever sexual taboos are in place. In Hollywood, I know that some actors are far more circumspect about keeping that secret hidden. There are not a lot of openly gay leading men."

No, there aren't, but we've got a list a mile long of ones we're pretty positive are feeling the constraints of the closet.

Care to confirm some names for us, Colin?

[Image via WENN.]

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Angelina's Secret Family! [09 Dec 2009|12:00am]
perezhilton

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And she's had them for six years!

The Enquirer is reporting that Angelina Jolie has been supporting seven orphans at the SOS Village orphanage in Amman, Jordan where she recently visited with Brad Pitt. An insider reveals:

"Angelina considers the orphans as her own family. She stays in touch with them and really cares about how they are doing. That's why she was so excited about taking Brad to see them. They both feel this is a way they can help so many more children."

Although both Angelina and Brad would like to adopt more kids, the SOS Village does not offer children for adoption.

Orphanage employee Aysha Shahin says, "Angelina will definitely support us by visiting again, by marketing us to other people and sponsoring a house which will pay the children's expenses. She IS a sweetheart, and one of our greatest supporters."

Santa Angelina was introduced to the SOS Village by her friend the Queen of Jordan Noor Al Hussein.

So generous!

[Image via AP Images.]

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Showtime's Killer Ratings [08 Dec 2009|11:52pm]
perezhilton

dexter-season-4-poster__opt.jpg

Showtime is having a hell of a great year with their current hit show, Dexter.

The serial-killer series has brought in record numbers through its seasons.

And last night's episode, the last one before the season finale, managed to bring it in the highest numbers yet with over 2.1 million viewers tuning in.

Actually, those are the best numbers for Showtime since its telecast of the Mike Tyson-Orlin Norris boxing match back in 1999!

Somehow, we have a feeling the cast of Dexter is going to be asking for a raise sometime soon.

Especially hottie Julie Benz. She definitely likes to shop.

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Mickey Rourke Getting Married! [08 Dec 2009|11:45pm]
perezhilton

wenn5349048.jpg

Maybe third time's a charm!

According to the New York Post, Mickey Rourke will wed girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in Moscow this April.

The pair have only been dating a couple months, but the actor reportedly popped the question over dinner last week.

"They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," said a friend of Mickey.

He's working pretty hard to impress!

Rourke is studying Russian to learn Elena's native tongue and was spotted giving his future mother-in-law the star treatment at The Bank at Wonderland in El Lay.

The two even went shopping to replace Rourke's dog, Loki, who died before the Oscars!

Congrats, kids!

[Image via WENN.]

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Yahoo For Tiger Woods! [08 Dec 2009|11:37pm]
perezhilton

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We didn't think there were any women left for Tiger Woods to sleep with, but sure enough, we found someone perfect for him.

Carol Bartz, Yahoo’s chief executive, is ready to lay down and spread'em since Tiger has brought in more traffic to the Yahoo page than Michael Jackson's death!

How is that even plausible!?

Regardless, at an investor;s conference yesterday, Carol asked God to bless Tiger Woods and his roaming putter for helping Yahoo make the quarter.

At least something positive came from this…we think!

[Image via WENN.]

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